These 5 sketchbook spreads will make you more stupid.

“Do male Medusas go bald?” 

You can’t un-read that dumb-ass question.

Space Banksy says: “I flew millions of light years to leave my art in your craps!” 

What if crop circles are “real”? Are they the equivalent of a teenager with a can of spray paint?

Are crop circles left by cosmic assholes who are actively disappointing their parents?

“It’s a dog-eat-dog world. But I’m a vegan.” 

To extend the animal metaphor, you can’t win the rat race if you’re not in it. But who wants to be a rat, anyway?

Why are all of the metaphors about getting ahead always animal-based? What does that say about the nature of success? That we lose our humanity to achieve it?

I know. That’s something a nihilistic 14-year-old boy would say.



Ninja Turtle to Squirrel: “… Dad?”
Squirrel: “Oh hell no. I always use condoms.” 

At what point did Splinter have to tell his kids that they were adopted?

Or did they figure it out on their own?

Donatello: “There’s no one in the universe that Pops could’ve banged to make us come out.”
Raphael: (storms out, breaks stuff)
Leonardo: I’ll go after him, I guess.
Michaelangelo: I’m going to eat my feelings. It’s a 3-pizza kinda day.

Ghosting: “I’m not going to text you back.” 

Was ghosting started by Casper-being passive-aggressive to his girlfriend?

Does your skull hurt from just skimming your eyes over that question?

I hope you found your visit to my sketchbook fun, if not intellectually enlightening.

I have scoured the land for this week’s 5 links.

Behold, friends, some Internet fineries:

^ I just discovered the work of outsider artist JJ Cromer. I am besotted.

^ I also just discovered Linda Tegg’s work. My favorite series is the one with dogs (of course).

The Sororitea Sisters is #4 on the Top 100 Tea Blogs & Websites for Tea Enthusiasts! I’m a proud Sister, and I’m so psyched about this. My posts are here.

In praise of soda: an article I fully support, even though I’m trying to drink less of the fizzy delight myself.

^ Figurines based on Heironymous Bosch’s Garden of Earthly Delights (and other works) are available. I want every one of them. Will you help me convince my husband they’re in line with our décor?

Did you find anything you really dug this week?



Recommendation: Try Maria Bamford’s new show “Lady Dynamite” on Netflix

Lots of stuff isn’t usually “funny.” Dead pets, passive-aggressive friends, African war-children, compromising one’s ideals for work, breakups — oh, and getting committed to an asylum.


Maria Bamford has to deal with all that shit in “Lady Dynamite” (Netflix streaming). This somewhat-autobiographical show had me laughing, cringing, and nodding in equal measure. It’s uncomfortable to watch sometimes. It takes a few episodes to get rolling. But once it’s on its way, it’s addictive.

It’s not quite like anything I’ve ever seen before, which is hard to say.

Plus, the dogs talk.


The dogs’ plots are central to the main plot.

I respect that.


Happy HOWL-idays

This holiday (“HOWL-iday”) season is fairly bittersweet on the dog front.


Before you worry, William is okay.

But his best friend, Pollyanna Banana, passed away unexpectedly last weekend.


She was good, smart, clever, crazy, shy, standoffish, smelly, strong, caring, protective, misandrist, fluffy, maternal — and dangerous as fuck to ducklings.

Dogs burn bright, shimmer, and pass before we have a chance to really appreciate them.

Please take a moment this holiday season to kiss your pets on their slippery, wet, stinky noses.

Are You Qualified To Dogsit?: 10 Important And Maybe Geeky Questions To Gauge Someone’s Trustworthiness

“I love LL Cool J,” I told my husband today, “and I would only trust someone with my kids or dog who felt the same way.”

“I don’t think that’s typically a question that comes up in the interview process,” my husband replied.

“It’s time to change the interview process,” I said.


Without further ado, I present:

10 Questions for Potential Dogsitters

1. This dumbass beagle is responsible enough to be let off-lead. True or false?

2. When my dog stares you down, that means he has to pee. Can you handle the pressure?

3. Who is the third member of Salt-n-Pepa?

4. If the house is on fire, I expect you to go in there and rescue him. This is not, technically, a question. Just nod to show you understand.


5. How do you feel about the Ron & Hermione pairing?