Bad Sex, Murder Mommies, Sketches, and Hanukkah: 5 Links

Things I Have Drawn is a father meticulously Photoshopping his children’s illustrations into reality.

The Guardian’s annual Bad Sex Awards are live. This gloriously NSFW article has snippets of 2018’s worst sex scenes from otherwise “literary” novels.  (Please note that all of these authors are men.)

If you want another good dose of Morning Yikes, check out My Mother Taught Me To Kill. It’s written by a guy serving a life sentence for murdering a bunch of people with his mom.

^ via my brother: My Modern Met writes about José Naranja‘s intense travel notebooks. They make me want to fill my sketchbooks’ space more efficiently, and also to improve my handwriting.

From McSweeney’s:  I’m Hanukkah and I’m Living My Best Life so Deal With it. Thought I’d leave you on an uplifting note after all that murder and bad sex.

5 Links To Cherish This Week

I went through a dark tea-time of the soul for a while there, but I am, perhaps, back to blogging. While I work on assembling a few ideas for new posts, please enjoy a few links.

Google’s developing a program that parses how offensive speech is. To use some offensive speech: it really fucking blows at it.

^ Are you embracing your inner toddler-grandma?

Why do some countries drive on the right, and others the left? You know you’re sort of curious about it. Deep down.

You might enjoy the very short science fiction story They’re Made of Meat.” 

Is giving thin people regular soda instead of diet actually funny? Just a gentle reminder that fucking with people’s food requests can kill them.

5 Links, Including A Fugly Shark & Badly-Dressed Teenagers

^ 1. It’d be super-fun to submit something to this year’s Graceful Envelope Contest. Check out the galleries of winners here.

2. We always suspected this, but it’s now been proven that dogs know who’s a jerk.

^ 3. Go ahead and google “goblin shark.” I’ll wait.

4. This Amazon Review makes me laugh every time I think about it. I keep it in my brain’s (metaphorical) back pocket and break it out as needed.

^ 5. The Japanese magazine FRUiTS is shutting down because “there were no more fashionable kids to photograph.” Kids these days. Am I right? Get off my lawn, you shabbily-dressed ragamuffins.

5 great links to enjoy this week.

^ 18 Less-Than-Inspiring Wallpapers. They’re are about to be incorporated into all of my computers.

Why would anyone sell a book for a penny on Amazon? I’ve always wondered about this. Mystery solved.

^ Were you aware? In the 70s, Bhutan had postage stamps that were made of playable vinyl. Learn more here.

^ I yearn for one of these scarves. All the whimsy of an animal-scarf; none of the horror of a literal corpse around your neck. (I keep seeing real vintage mink stoles at antiques stores. The eyes, guys. The eyes.)

^ Can you beat my stats (above) at the 1-minute typing test?