5 Witchy-Woman Sketchbook Spreads

Witches: true demonic evil, or just “nasty women”?

In celebration of the Women’s March, I present a variety of witches.

My favorite drawing here isn’t the gauged-ear witch (whoops, ears uneven), but the wonderful updo on the lass on the right. It’s very Something About Mary.

The mink shawl is thrilled to be there. The other girl was promised ice cream at this party, and isn’t sure if it’s awkward to leave. Is the ice cream coming later?

This page is a lot of things happening all at once. Mostly a bunch of eyes where they don’t belong, à la Guillermo del Toro.

Technically? No witches here. Just badass bitches.

I suspect the woman on the left is a vampire. The rabbits, however? Casting spells. Mostly fertility ones.

Thumbs-up to everyone who marched this weekend!

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Yule love these gift suggestions for witches!

When they talk about “Christmas magic,” this is not what they mean.

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If you have a witch — or an edgy teenager — on your list and are baffled, let me help you. This is right up my alley. My house is on the left, in fact.

Witchy

Carved candle ($28) – You should click on this link just to look at the detailing. I’d never ever burn this. Partly because I have asthma, sure, but mostly because it’s a pretty object.

Cashmere star scarf ($150) – Gets the point across subtly.

Handmade journal ($49) – Spells, rants, grocery lists, haikus, ideas for essays, and dirty limericks all have a fancy new place to live.

The Magicians ($3+) – Did you feel that the Harry Potter series didn’t have enough drugs or desolation-fucking? If so, I have a bleak series just for you.

Engraved amethyst runes ($33) – It’s up to the recipient to figure out how these work. Aren’t they pretty?

American Horror Story: Coven figure ($12) – I have two of these: Myrtle Snow and Papa Legba. I adore them. They are creeping up my living room as I type.

Cardboard Safari human skull ($40-200) – A comment at the bottom of the site describes this as “the best skull I’ve ever had.” Try not to think too deeply about that.

Druzy moon necklace ($63) – I dare say these are… charming.

Swish.

I’ll be here all week.

Merry Yule, Internet.

Please sort me into Ravenclaw!

Nothing makes you feel crotchety like Halloween night in a college town when you’re 30+.

After giving candy out to the cutest kids ever (my friends brought a conductor, an owl, and Bjork in a swan dress to our house), Hubs and I decided that evening bar-hopping was in order so we could see grown-up costumes.

All we got was apathy and tiny dresses.

“Oh look,” my husband pointed out at one moment, “it’s Willie Wonka, Oompa Loompas, and a douche!”

That’s all right, though: all of the winners of the 2013 Costume Awards went to people at my improv troupe’s annual party (the same people who held the 1920s party). This year’s improv party is tonight.

The theme is Harry Potter.

I was asked to contribute some Mad Mad Skeelz to create a Hogwarts moving painting wall

Check out these progress shots!

Three-Canvi

Here we can see basic lines and shapes getting blocked in. Colors are nothing without highlights and lowlights, though.

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Now it’s coming together! In the first picture, I added the black detailing; in the second, I brought out the bright spots and added in some white outlining. Now it’s time for the witches and wizards to arrive and get sorted.

Speaking of sorting, here’s a list of Halloween trick-or-treat costumes that came to our house.

  • Classic: Witch, tin man, mermaid, conductor, ninja, mummy, mobster, 2 pirates
  • Animal: black cat, owl, peacock, bee, Hello Kitty, pink poodle
  • Scary: 3 Zombies (“walkers”), 2 werewolves, Jason, 2 skeletons
  • Comic book/sci-fi: Batgirl (pink), The Avengers (a toddler with an Iron Man hat on and an Avengers tee), 2 Star Wars Stormtroopers, Boba Fett, Darth Vader, Minion (Despicable Me)
  • Really specific: Laura Ingalls Wilder (Little House on the Prairie)
  • Really un-specific: A child who appeared to be a thug, a kid who claimed to be “steampunk”
  • Your Mom’s Obviously Very Artsy: Bjork in her swan dress
  • Nonsensically fun: Rainbow cowgirl on a pink unicorn
  • This outfit was on an adult: Tinky-Winky from the Teletubbies

I’m glad I wrote the costumes down; now I’ll always be able to remember our first Halloween in our new house.

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I’d like to take a second on the swan dress.

I could link you to the slew of articles about oddly sexy little girl costumes, but anyone who’s been in a store that sells costumes already knows. Little boys wear clothing. Little girls (and college-age girls) wear skimpy, leg-baring sexualized slips.

Not this costume. This is a perfect kid’s costume. It is age-appropriate, cute, creative, girly but not aggressively so, and warm. If you knew about Bjork’s VMA antics, it’s hilarious. If you don’t, it’s just a pretty swan. It works on a bunch of levels.

Of course, it helps that I’m a fan of both Bjork and the mom who made it.

The only drawback to this costume is that it’s not in my size.

More of the best costumes of 2013 will be posted later in the weekend after the improv party!

Muffins, meetings, and being bored out of my mind.

Coworker: “When were these muffins left on my desk?”
Me: “There are muffins on your desk?!
Coworker: “You don’t remember when they arrived?”
Me: “I would remember muffins arriving. Because I would have eaten all of them before you arrived.”

I then ate one. Blueberry!

Forest-Meeting

These are two entirely separate doodles joined with throwaway text.

I’ll bet the animal meeting was mostly them having off-topic conversations with each other, followed by five minutes of rapid-fire slapdash decision-making.

Boring, boring, boring; “can we just fucking vote to get this over with?”; boring, boring.

More-Funsies

Other cultures have much warmer and more colorful motifs than ours.

This is what white people are like:

Super-Lame

Super-boring. Nary a pattern or color in sight.

Take the Pilgrims, for example:

Boring, boring, boring; horrible decision to commit genocide; boring, boring.

When I was a teenager, my grandfather married a woman who called herself Marmee and named her four daughters after the Little Women. At Thanksgiving, she and her numerous offspring (and grand-offspring) sang this prayer in unison — while my family cowered, silently, in the Atheist Corner.

Boring, boring, boring; horrible decision to commit group singsong prayer; boring, boring.

Maybe the problem is me. Maybe that’s why I love drawing, Tetris, Minesweeper, and Candy Crush so much. Speaking of which, I need to go try to beat level 147 for the millionth time this week.