Immersion therapy might not work.

I spent a lot of time working on these drawings, and I’m still terrified of vintage dolls.

Dolls-Are-Creepy

They’re just biding their time until they murder me in my sleep.

Speaking of creepy dolls…

King-Cake-Baby

Yeah. It’s a mascot (creepy) and a doll (creepy) in one, creating a creep-glomerate that is more terrifying than the sum of its parts.

It was brought to my attention by Chris Hardwick on At Midnight (which can be watched On Demand, if staying up late isn’t your bag, and you have that service). To thank him, I drew this.

King Cake Baby Illustration

You’re welcome, His Therapist.

If you thought the movie Child’s Play was creepy, you may not like this post.

Yesterday was a general look at antiques, but today we delve specifically into dolls and figurines.

Antiques-Dolls

Sorry if this gives you the heebie-jeebies.

Onward.

Z-Couples

^ “Look at those boys over there. Think they’ll buy us drinks?”

AA-NotTonight

^ “Not tonight, honey,” he said. “I have a headache.”

AA-PeeWee

^ Remember the PeeWee Herman show? So creepy. I don’t know that managed to be on TV for so long.

Wanna get creepier? How about the destroyed dolls below?

Z-Ohhellno2

OH HELL NO.

Or clowns?

Z-CLOWNS

^ Pet Cemetery called. It wants its hell-hounds back.

Z-Robo9t

^ Would you feel better if you played with a confusing math robot?

AA-War

^ These guys were part of a war display. Gulf War, maybe? I’m not sure.

Speaking of international students…

Z-International

The language these Chinese characters are reading are literally blobs. The people who made those figurines didn’t even try to research what the symbols looked like whatsoever. (Kind of like most people who get Asian symbols tattooed on them.) (Oh snap!)

Also, these Dutch set is precious.

Actual people from Holland are probably thinking, “There’s more to us than clogs and windmills, dammit!” but I’m having none of it.

Are you afraid of dolls? If so, why? Are you concerned they’re going to kill you in your sleep? Because that’s a possibility.

An intense, investigative report on cool old stuff

Antiques-Friends2

This weekend, fabulous ladies Dana, Ava, and Alice went antiquing with me on the quest for the Perfect Old Thing. We didn’t know what we were looking for, but we sure found a lot of neat swag.

AVA

^ Ava, who plays the piano, gravitated to the instruments every time. For this one, you tap your fingers on the metal bars to make the sound come out. The diagram inside showed how to play “Mary Had A Little Lamb.”

A-businesscard

^ How cool is this business card and holder combo? I wish I’d thought of this.

Chris Snyder’s booth (each area is owned by a different person) had a lot of weird, weird stuff in it, like…

Hitler-Toilet

^ Hitler getting flushed down a toilet, and a great hat rack. It’s weird to see Hitler drawn in sort of a 1940s early-Disney cartoon style.

Alice

^ Speaking of weird… we’re secretly children. Or maybe not so secretly. Here’s Alice trying on a werewolf mask and holding up an illustrated wheelchair image. (I feel like that man would be eight feel tall if he stood.)

Collections2

^ I love that antiques stores sell random collections of things, like jars of old crayons and rusty souvenir spoons. There is, without question, someone out there who thinks this stuff isn’t waste. (I don’t understand the spoon thing. Sorry, spoon collectors. At least the crayons you could hypothetically draw with.)

A-Highbrow-lowbrow

^ The drop between highbrow and lowbrow is very steep.

On the left is beautiful calligraphy for a child born in Zion, Pennsylvania (note: this is a real place); on the right is the design history of beer can packaging.

I love that the world both has and needs both types of lettering. Both the personal and the commercial are beautiful — though in this case, don’t you want to eat that birth certificate like a delicate soufflé?

Have you found anything good in the thrifts or antiques stores lately, Internet?

If you liked this post, you might want to check these antiques/thrifting posts out: Bellefonte Victorian Christmas, How to Level Up In Thrifting, and Enter the dressing room with me!

These Vans are A-Rockin’

HARRY-TOP

 

When it comes to culture, cities will always lose to the country in one way:

car shows.

I’m not sure if country people or city people are more proud of this fact.

The Harrisburg Motorama was held in the Pennsylvania Farm Show complex. The kind of place where they have a statue of a cow with a different cow painted on it.

Painted-Cow

The most visually appealing part of the car show (aside from Bessie here) is the collection of weirdly decorated vans. There’s something about vanners — a certain sense of humor — that I’m drawn to. And I don’t just say that because my in-laws are members of a van club and they are wonderfully wackadoodle. I say this in general.

Check out this sea shanty van:

Captain-Boat

And this deathmobile van:

Death-Van

^ Oh yes. That is a wizard and a dragon astride a castle.

How about this car made from a casket?

Casket-Car

^ The tail lights are lamps. I doubt this is street-legal.

Kermit-Land

^ How hard does this little girl (pink, back right) want to go play with all those frogs?

Who wants to live in this shagon-wagon trailer?

Shagon-Wagon

^ The map was affixed to the inside of the door. Strewn on the couch inside were plenty of undergarments.

Other-Cars

^ On the left here: more vintage lovelies. On the right: enormously large trucks. Where does one park such a thing? I have enough trouble parallel parking a Dodge Neon, guys.

Favorite-Colors

^ Of course, we photographed some cars in our wedding colors. (The studmuffin in front of the orange car loves to point out his favorite color. We’re like children in that way.)

Fuzzy-Dice

^ No car show is complete without fuzzy dice.

Prizes

^ No event anywhere in Pennsylvania is complete without carnival games. I would not be surprised to show up at a Pennsylvania wedding or funeral and — boom! — find a carnie and some stuffed Angry Birds waiting for me there.

And, finally, Harrisburg’s Appalachian Brewing Company (mentioned in this post) gave us food, and — possibly more importantly — a place to sit.

ABC

As much as I make fun of the Pennsylvania Farm Show Complex, it’s really impressive. The Motorama had vintage and pimped-out vehicles, a giant four-wheeler course, a remote control car course, a race track for “quarter midget” cars, and… most important… a “robot conflict” area.

Robot conflict?

Oh yes, Internet. Robots battling it out. More on that tomorrow.

Enter the dressing room with me! It won’t be weird at all!

Though I put a lot of time and energy into my How to Level Up In Thrifting post, I thought maybe some further examples were in order. I’m a visual learner; maybe you are, too.

So I’m taking you into the thrift with me so you can see what happens in there. We’re close, right, Internet? That’s not too weird for you, is it?

Anyway…

First off, funny pictures of utter fails:

Rejects-Hilarious

I’m a face-maker!

I thought the first shirt was a tank top. Turns out it was a weird holes-cut-in-shoulders thing. Holy shit is that fugly.

The second thing was a sweater made of a bunch of different materials that tapered awkwardly down at the hip.

The third thing had a built-in vest that had a drawstring thing pulling it open. I’m confused.

When I selected these things, I thought they had a chance of working out.

Sometimes magic happens in the dressing room.

Not this time.

Second: clothing that was too hot for TV. But not too hot for the Internet. Nothing is too hot for the Internet.

Rejects-Scandal

I wanted some new workout gear. Neither of these first two tops offered any support at all. They did not pass the jump-up-and-down test. Sorry, gentlemen: no video was recorded of this act.

I was also looking for new black jeans. These, as you can see, ended very, very far below the belly button. That far below the belly button is just for me and my husband.

The final thing was really, really thin material (you can clearly see the outline of my bra), and almost matched my skin tone.

Too much scandal. As I’ve posted before, I’m a very modest dresser. All of these garments were out.

Third: clothing that almost made the cut.

Rejects-Almost

The shirt on the left had a really cool peacock chandelier thing happening, but was just a smidge too tight.

The shirt/dress thing on the left had an amazing collar and this really cool dual-button detail. It had great sleeves, too. But it was just too puffy around the tummy. I considered buying it, cutting off the bottom, taking it in, and making it just be a shirt instead of a dress/tunic, but that seems like a lot of hassle.

If I’m still thinking about the shirt in a week, I’ll go back and see if it’s there.

Did I actually buy anything?

Yes, I did:

Rejects-Not

Houndstooth tunic dress: an obvious yes.

This second choice was an odd one, but I liked the weird chopstick-hair girl combined with the sewn-on striped part on the hips. I feel like I could pair that with an oversized hoodie and some brightly-colored jeans and make a quirky, graphic outfit out of it.

This final choice has a built-in modesty panel. Thanks, Universe! I like its added length, so I can lean over and grab things without a scandal. It has a casual but still girly vibe that elevates it a step above my usual t-shirts. I am seeing this as a “out with my girls” kind of look. (Were any characters on Sex and the City covered in paint and cursing like sailors? No? Okay. Maybe “out with my girls” should be changed to “out with my fellow bizznatches” or something so people get a more accurate picture of our outings).

I wish I had known about the Macklemore Thrift Shop Challenge before this post, because I totally would have photographed myself in one of the items mentioned in the song. Oh well — next time!

Now that you’re here and looking at pictures of me taking pictures of myself, wanna see my haircut?

MyHair2

This is a comparison between curly and straight. Curly is sort of a Molly Ringwald thing; straight is edgier.

I’m not sure I love it. I’m going to need some time to see how it fits in with my makeup and wardrobe. I think I may dye it brown again.

Worse comes to worse, I’ll just grow it out. My hair grows ridiculously fast.

Happy weekend, Internet!