I don’t understand the Polar Vortex. Does it or does it not have something to do with global warming?
When people get all up-in-arms about meteorology (“climate change: is it real?”), I’m like, “Hey, I’m not having kids that’ll have to live through that, so… best of luck. Hopefully I’ll kick it before that really manifests. You guys should really do something about that, I guess.”
Speaking of worldwide weather catastrophe…
Jurassic Park is wrong. Real velociraptors would actually only go up to your elbow, and they’re actually covered in feathers.
Fact: T-Rex hates pushups.
Related: Can we take a second and talk about the thing I almost bought my husband for V-Day?
Do I get anything resembling “grown-up points” for passing this up? I decided it was only 2 feet tall; and if I was going to get a lawn dinosaur, I’d need to go bigger.