Our Zany Universe: Spider Derby Is A Thing That Exists

Duck and cover, because I’m about to drop a truth bomb.

“Spider Derby,” or spider fighting, is a “sport” that actually exists.

Spider-Derby

Depending on the spider species, two males or two females fight until:

  • one dies,
  • one falls off the leaf or stick they’re battling on,
  • or an obviously failing one is rescued by its handler.

When “off duty,” the spiders are kept in matchboxes.

Maybe you’re saying “that’s barbaric.”

It’s banned in some areas, but not because it’s mean. It’s because “[children] could spend so much time hunting and training spiders that lessons and homework are missed.” Oh, and because the practice encourages gambling. (In derbies, bets go up to $1k.)

Maybe you’re saying “this has to be happening internationally.”

Yes, it does. Mostly in Singapore, Japan, and the Philippines.

And also… jails in Florida.

Because… Florida.

“In 2002, a fight between three inmates over the theft of a pet spider resulted in life-threatening skull injuries to one inmate.”

Sounds like Florida to me. (To see Florida Man’s most impressive accomplishments of 2014, click here.)

As usual, I suggest you try nothing you see on this blog at home.

Drawings in Circles

Today’s theme: circles and fandoms.

Poor-Brienne-Final

The theme a week or two ago for Sketch Dailies was Game of Thrones. (This illustration made it to the front page!)

My brother was the fabulous Renly for Halloween last year, so I decided to draw Renly and his dreamy boyfriend, Loras.

Oh, and Brienne, who has terrible taste in men.

First, she loved the homosexual Renly; now she loves Jaime, who’s in love with his twin sister (yes, “ew” is the appropriate response).

If she could fall for a pedophile, she would basically round out the He’s Not Into You Trifecta.

Happy-Holidays-Skeletor

This drawing also happened, and I have no excuse for it. My favorite part is the dog in her arms.

An Open Letter to FunKo

Dear FunKo,

I’ve recently discovered your designer toys of comic book, movie, TV, and Disney characters.

I adore them — but there’s a hole in my heart.

SC-Please-01

Dare I say… a white hole?

The type that the characters of Space Cases go through in Episode 1?

SC-Please-02

I’m going to go ahead and put this out there…

SC-Please-03

… I would pay a lot of money for Space Cases figurines.

A lot.

This could be a very lucrative opportunity.

Thanks for your consideration.

Love,
Leah / Super Starling!

Lose weight during the holidays? Hah!

My parents’ very fancy gym has a lot of included programming (classes, day care, etc). Their current group activity wall has a big sign that says “Lose Weight Over The Holidays!” Members can sign up for the program and, I imagine, win prizes for winning the most.

This is horrific. Lose weight over the holidays? That’s doing it wrong.

Holidays-For-Eating

I’m not saying you should endanger your health by self-administering an IV of grease and melted-down sugar cookies.

But maybe December isn’t the time for a full offensive.

Maybe playing defense — holding the line — is enough.