vector – Starling 5

Come look at this design I’m working on!

I know you just ate a lot yesterday, and it hurts terribly to think about food.

But I have to show you this food logo anyway.

I’ve been working on the design evolution of Stickler’s: Frozen Perfection On A Stick.

The official unveiling hasn’t occurred yet, but you will soon be able to get these delicious treats in a storefront in Pittsburgh!

The brand was originally the Pop Stop:

The Pop Stop’s logo(s) had a sort of Andy Warhol vibe, because Pittsburgh’s where Warhol is from. (If you’re ever in the Steel City, check out the Andy Warhol Museum.)

The Pop Stop was a food truck that served fresh-fruit, mostly vegan treats.

Because, as it turns out, the Pop Stop name was being used by another organization, its owners considered becoming Ramblin’ Pops:

I loved the hell out of this design. The font was cool (and free — download it here). The cloud was also a bite. An optimistic hippie sunrise emblazoned the horizon.

But then: a storefront presented itself. The owners of the company were psyched to have a home! In a brick-and-mortar context, “Ramblin’ Pops” ceased to make sense.

So… I got to make…

These goddamn glorious creatures. I call them the Wholesome Homies.

I cannot even begin to describe how much I love these things. I want stuffed animals of all of them. I want t-shirts out of them. I want to turn them into an argyle patterned sweater and wear them.

There’s also a master logo that includes all of them (minus faces):

It might be used in certain contexts. But it’s not NEARLY as good as the Wholesome Homies.

Nothing ever will be.

Anyone else working on anything new?

How To Use And Abuse Adobe Illustrator Patterns

I spotted this pretty patterned picture a few days ago and knew I had to get in on that bright, happy flower power.

I got so zesty about this that I created a custom pattern:

It was a brain-fiesta, and I’m pleased as punch.

If you want to make your own pattern, I recommend this tutorial. It explains the process much more succinctly than I ever could.

I’d wander off on some rumination about serifs, the odd adaptability of the dog genome, or how Guy Fieri got into all of these old paintings.

Be grateful that other people exist.

Snoop Dogg is dope and so are you!: a lesson about goals

I heard on the radio that Snoop Dogg has 16 Grammy nominations, but no wins.

“That’s heinous!” I yelled alone in my car.

How on earth had someone so obviously awesome and successful failed to receive recognition in this way? What kind of awful sky-wizard would have allowed this oversight to occur?

Wait. Who gives a shit about Grammys? Why was I so focused on this one particular award, when this guy is obviously getting all the actual success he deserves?

Snoop’s ridiculous Grammy oversight isn’t holding him back from being the motherfucking bomb in all aspects of his life. The guy’s a zillionaire; he’s wicked famous; his music is excellent; he’s multi-platinum; he’s a movie delight; he’s hilarious.

We can learn a lot from Snoop’s lack of Grammy. Namely: we don’t always get our goals, but we can still be successful.

We set specific goals for ourselves like:

“I want to be a size 8.”
“I want to earn six figures.”
“I want 1,000 blog followers.”
“I want a Grammy.”

If we only had these things, our lives would be complete.

Except they wouldn’t be.

Because once you broke the $100k/year barrier, you’d think “I need $150k.” Once you dropped the weight or gained the followers or won the Grammy, you’d move on to the next thing. It’s never enough.

It’s important to have goals. Otherwise you’d be a lump. You’d never grow or change. You would become very boring.

It’s also important to occasionally say, “Close enough.”

Didn’t quite lose that baby weight? Okay. Well, you have a baby, so, close enough.

Making $99k/year? Uh, why are you complaining about that? Close enough.

Is your pet an out-of-control nightmare half the time? The other half the time, he’s very snuggly and soft. Close enough.

Don’t kill yourself for specific belt notches… But keep working hard. Because it feels good. Because it’s interesting. Because it’s rewarding — intrinsically, not extrinsically. Because it keeps you humble, and interesting. Because progression matters.

Be like Snoop Dogg, guys. Learn from Snoop-A-Loop. He has much wisdom to share.

And now, in closing, My Top 5 Favorite Snoop Dog Moments:

Continue reading Snoop Dogg is dope and so are you!: a lesson about goals

Free Printable Unwinnable Feminist Super Bowl Bingo Sheet

The idea for this post started off as a tiny nugget: “What if Doritos showed an ad for Cool Ranch instead of Nacho Cheesier?”

Then I thought, “Wouldn’t be nice to see an ad featuring a same-sex couple? Or a plus-sized person that wasn’t the butt of a joke? Or men doing dishes? And why on earth is menstrual blood always portrayed as blue in ads for pads?”

Behold, friends: Unwinnable Super Bowl Bingo. The totally free, printable PDF, complete with translation chart, is right here. Play along at home.

What else are you going to do — actually care about sports?

You will not win, friends. No one ever will. But each square is one step closer to a more diverse, interesting world.

Crossing the Cthulu square off might be the last thing you ever do.

BING— death.

Pantydraco is real!

Have you ever hit “Random” on Wikipedia over and over until you found something interesting?

Because I have. And a few days ago, I found “Pantydraco.”

This is an actual species of dinosaur. And my final artistic act of 2014 has been illustrating him.

This is the last thing you get from me this year.

I thought about making a “best posts of 2014” entry, but every post I write is golden.

I considered creating a photomontage of my year, but that sounded suspiciously like work.

I contemplated listing resolutions or accomplishments, but you don’t care, and neither do I.

And let’s face it: Pantydraco rocks.