Tag: technology

Is this a cosmic joke?

My new laptop doesn’t have a slot for CDs/DVDs.

I ran my hand along the front, then both sides. Then the back. Then the screen.

I frowned.

I Googled.

Turns out my computer just didn’t come with a CD/DVD Drive.

Thanks, God. (Or Apple. Whichever.)

The Internet was awash with confused people like me. (You know: people who didn’t read the specs that carefully.)

A battle raged between people applauding Apple for killing off the dying disc medium and others who couldn’t figure out what do with all of their damn DVDs.

tumblr_n2z0ltbA9j1qzw8dfo1_1280

There’s a $30 solution to this issue, so I was able to install my new Photoshop, which has fun brushes that I obviously don’t know how to use.

I anticipate enjoying the learning curve.

Fine. I’ll replace everything I own. I didn’t need money, anyway.

My panda phone case started to smell like a decomposing, septic onion fart last week.

I tried various methods of cleaning it, to no avail. I had to say goodbye.

Panda-Is-Dead

After I drew this tribute, my friend’s 4-year-old asked if I’d buried the phone case in the backyard. Kids are hilarious.

Then my 8-year-old computer and I had this conversation.

Trusty, ancient computer: “My wifi is going to fluke out all the time.”
Me: “I still love you.”
Trusty, ancient computer: “I’m going to slow down considerably.”
Me: “I still love you.”
Trusty, ancient computer: “I’m going to stop running Photoshop.”
Me: “I still love you.”
Trusty, ancient computer: “I’m going to stop running Illustrator, too.”
Me: “Okay, fuck this.”

SkyNet

There’s only so long I can be in an abusive, Edward-Cullen-style relationship with my laptop.

I buckled under and got a new one.

Pictured above is my data being transferred into the new one.

This is how Skynet started, and why humanity can’t have nice things.