5 Things That Happened During The Month I Forgot About This Blog

Whoops. Forgot I had a blog. My bad. Sorry, Mom.


1. I hiked Watkins Glen, an orgy of waterfalls and gorges. The Finger Lakes is a gorge-ous place.


2. I got a second tattoo, of a death’s head moth (top). I illustrated the original illustration for the tattoo artist to apply. It’s a reference to my love of Hannibal/horror/reading/movies/Silence of the Lambs.

The hairs there are from my dog shedding into the moisturizer. Which is gross, but not as gross as the back hair people were joking about on Facebook. With friends like these, who needs enemies?

The bottom tattoo is Alys’. We got the tattoos together, because TWINSIES. So Goth. Very wow.


3. I crocheted Clyde the Yeti. He likes jazz music. We share a classic pear body type.


4. I designed this logo for an ice cream pop company. Delicious.


5. I was my husband’s muse. Behold this portrait. It’s me, imagining cake.

As you can see, I am the second-best artist in the family.

I should hand this blog over to him.

He’d probably update it.

Pokemon, go home. You’re drunk.

Every time a new Pokemon game is released, I briefly become a video game widow. But this post isn’t about my Poke-rage. It’s about tattoo mistakes.


My Poke-week started when someone posted this tattoo disaster on Reddit. The person who got it was “drunk and on Xanax” when he made that choice. Stories that open up with someone being drunk and on Xanax rarely end in “finding the cure for cancer!”

The person who made the post declared it a “Blackface Charmander,” but it turns out it’s the Charmander from Hatboy’s Tim Burton x Pokemon series. That said, the tattoo is still a disaster.

A subsequent google search for “Ugly Pokemon” resulted in finding this wonderful series by EatToast. (Will someone please buy me this Fiji Mermaid they made?)

Continue reading Pokemon, go home. You’re drunk.

Danny DeVito Brings Sunshine Into My Life

One of the greatest things about Danny DeVito — and there are a lot of great things about him — is how happy he is to get a little bit gross.

He keeps picking “ew” roles, like the Penguin in Batman Returns, the villainous car salesman father in Matilda, and, best of all, Frank in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Frank revels in filth. He’s unabashedly himself, as icky and depraved as that may be.


I think that we could all be a little more like Frank.

(But with showering.)

Out and about! Proud. Unashamed.

(But, I feel I must reiterate, please shower.)

Continue reading Danny DeVito Brings Sunshine Into My Life

Hey! Who remembers Romney Face Tattoo Guy?

Have you ever been in the shower and wondered: “What happened to Romney Face Tattoo Guy?!”


Well, I did this week. And now you’re going to find out about him.

According to my friend the Internet, the guy is Eric Hartsburg. He’s a 30-year-old pro-wrestler Republican from Indiana. In the ring, he wears a pink outfit with a cowboy hat. His other temple has ten pink stars on it.

The Romney campaign paid $15,000 or $5,000 (depending on the source) to have their logo tattooed on his face. He hoped it would encourage people to vote.

Just after Romney’s loss, Hartsburg was claiming he had no regrets.

“I’m not an idiot,” Hartsburg said. “I am college educated […] getting the tattoo was a decision that I made, and I am cool with.”

He said he wanted people to look past the tat “in order to have a real conversation about politics and the future of America.”

But now he’s getting it removed because he is claiming not to like Romney’s “gifts” comment. (Which, as the article points out, is pretty much the same as Romney’s “47% percent” comment.)

My beef with Eric Hartsburg’s tattoo decision is not Romney and his eerie clan of Children of the Eugenics-Approved Corn. Or the whole “dudes talking way too much about rape” phenomenon. Or even Paul Ryan’s hilarious workout photos.

(Okay. I love these photos).

My major issue is the ugliness of the Romney logo.

Don’t lie to me, Internet: this logo looks like a listless dong, and you know it.

Long after Eric Hartsburg removes his tattoo, and after most of America has forgotten Romney/Ryan, I will still remember this horrible fucking logo. It has been burned into my brain until the end of time.

Do you, dearest Internet, have a least favorite logo? If so, feel free to drop a line in my comments. Either way, happy weekend!

Geeky upper back tattoos, unite!

The upper back tattoo has become as popular as the tramp stamp once was, except this location seems to be mostly for geeks to express themselves.

Take, for example, this pitch-perfect tattoo, which I spotted & snapped in Boalsburg, PA:

It’s a diagram of the golden section with a synonym for beauty on it. You have to be a visual nerd and a linguistic nerd for this all to come together.

Or take a bite of this tat that lives on my friend Ashley, a baker:

Or this one, the logo for a 1990s sci-fi show:

(it’s me!)

After poking around online, I found plenty of other geeky back tattoo inspiration. Behold my fave picks:

That’s right, kids: a Haunted Mansion tattoo. Also known as: the best thing ever. It was spotted at Comic-Con in 2007.

For the weenies who were always too scared to go in Disney’s Haunted Mansion, you’re missing out on, well, everything. There are ghosts, ghouls, zombies, and spiders. There are holograms and “hitchhiking ghosts who follow you home.”

In the beginning of the ride, there are very long portraits that expand. This is one of those. At first, you only see the top (cute girl, umbrella), then the poster expands downward, showing how the person died.

Here’s the set of four:

So epic.

Or how about a tattoo by Neil Gaiman?

Or, finally, this extremely extensive Where the Wild Things Are tattoo on Mishelle Lane:

Of course, you could get a “tribal tattoo” or a butterfly, but why would you, when there’s a universe of beautiful, creative opportunities? Go geek or go home!