Wanna see the inside of my sketchbook?

My sketchbook slices, dices, slow-cooks, and does low-level mathematics!

If you act now, you’ll receive three ShamWows or get to see some sketches! Our discretion!

Thanks for joining me. You’re getting the sketches.

Here’s the Queen of Hearts in her bowling/golf uniform:

SB-Hearts

The Queen of Hearts is my Patronus. She’s stylish and bitchy! Hel-loObviously I love her.

SB-Age-Demon

Speaking of evil stuff, here’s the demon that encourages women to lie about their age. She has a wonderful prehensile tongue.

 

SB-bunnies

I spotted these on a girl downtown.

Here’s a photo of something similar:

Asian guy in bunny earmuffs.

(That guy is secure in his masculinity.)

Speaking of manliness:

SB-UncleCreepy

You might be like “does that little note at the bottom say ‘punching himself in the dick‘?”

Yes. It does.

Before MMA events, fighters have to indicate to the refs that they’re wearing a cup, and they do so by making a fist and slamming themselves violently in the junk.

I love Uncle Creepy:

Uncle-Creepy

He is one of my favorite fighters. For more about him, you can click here (unclecreepymma.com) or here.

SB-HipsterBF

It’s hard to find Converse in Bigfoot’s size.

SB-OdinsMemoirs

Odin’s fucking had it with Thor and Loki’s battles intruding upon his quiet time in “Dad’s man-cave.”

SB-Turban-Lady

 

My Sunday afternoon took on a gleeful turn when a woman in a full-on, no-holds-barred turban entered the diner.

Her turban was big and blue, and featured a dangly forehead-bead and a spray of feathers.

It was like this vintage 1960s Vogue cover:

Vintage 1960s Vogue cover

I hoped she would demand the staff turn off all the lights so we could enter the spirit world. Alas, no such thing happened.

Sadly, due to her age and apparent health situation (she had pale skin and looked tired), she might have been wearing the turban to cover possible illness-related hair loss. Which made her hat choice a “reclaiming the skull for herself” type of thing and even more commendable.

I wish I could pull off hats, but I simply do not have the panache required to do so.

I’ll have to add “garner more panache” to my list of things to do in 2014.