How To Make Shrunken Head Christmas Ornaments

I found a note in my sketchbook that says “Shrunken heads are the size of Christmas ornaments.

It’s my handwriting. I must’ve put it there.

What was I thinking?

Shrunken-Ornaments-01

Was it just a note about relative size — or an idea for an amazing blog post? “DIY shrunken heads for a grim tree“?

Yes. Let’s make that post.

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To be honest with you, I’m not sure how actual shrunken heads are made. I imagine it goes as follows:

  • Slay your enemy.
  • Skin his skull.
  • Put the resulting skin… in front of a shrink ray?
  • Fill it with Poly-Fil®.
  • Spritz it with Febreze® whenever it gets funky.

But murdering people is pretty gauche, so let’s make some artistic ones instead.

Babies and Bitchface

My favorite photos this week are a warm moment and a cold moment.

Best-Photos

The blizzard photo was taken from a moving bus, using the Panorama function on my iPhone. Loving what happened to the tree.

After I took the photo of the baby, she totally pooped all over that outfit at Mass. Don’t worry, girlfriend, that’s how I feel about pink and church, too. (I’d be her godmother if I weren’t such a dirty atheist, as evidenced by the previous statement.)

Speaking of photos, here’s the most accurate one taken of me in a long time:

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That’s what my Bitchface™ looks like.

Dan tried to take a photo of me eating nachos. Like I need more unattractive photos taken of me. So I scowled. I love this photo. Dan’s a great photographer all around.

He also took this one you may vaguely remember from ages ago, when I was, apparently, a happier person:

Winter does unpleasant things to a person’s spirit.

Let’s celebrate 2014 by looking back at the 1990s.

My husband and I don’t always agree; but when we do, it’s about 90s alternative.

We-Like-Lithium

Minor notes about this illustration:

1. Hubs was insistent about Slash’s inclusion. I’m glad about this because Slash was fun to draw.

2. The guy from The Prodigy is Keith Flint. I had to look that up. The illustration was incomplete without his hair. Fun fact from his Wiki: “In an interview, he stated that his most painful tattoo was the text ‘Inflicted’ across his stomach. He stated that it felt like he was on an altar being ritualistically scarred by a Satanic beast.” Aren’t you kind of glad you know that now?

3. Drawing Kurt made me sad.

4. Courtney Love is not here. I omitted her on purpose. Yuck.

5. I apologise for any other musicians I may have forgotten. Like, in retrospect, maybe Gavin Rossdale and/or Dave Grohl should have been in here. Or maybe the guy from Stone Temple Pilots. (What do the people from Soul Coughing look like?) But such speculation could go on all day, and I felt like wrapping it up and posting it. Sorry, guys.

Put some angst on your iPod and rock today out, Internet!