My mom likes puffins, so I put “puffin adoption” into my browser history. I found a very nice Adopt A Horned Puffin page for $55. What a steal, I thought.
Friendship. Companionship. Good conversation starter. Excellent excuse not to turn the heat up in the winter.
There didn’t even appear to be shipping! I mean, shipping a live puffin from
Antarctica Iceland has to be costly.
I found the catch:
Turns out the adoption is symbolic. Which means you don’t get shit, except vague comfort that the environment is being helped.
Plus, the World Wildlife Fund stole “WWF” from pro wrestling. “WWE” sucks.
“World Wrestling Entertainment”? That’s for, no pun intended, the birds.
What a scam, guys. Don’t believe the panda logo. The only panda you can trust is the Panda Express panda.
Panda Express has never once sold me “symbolic” food.
Some of it is dubious.