We can build him. We have the technology.

It’s still Robot Week on Illustration Friday!

Friday, I introduced the GardenBot 5000 (in purple). Today I bequeath unto the world the HipsterDroid 1.7, complete with analog parts.


Its face is a Polaroid Land camera. The voice is a built-in gramophone that is piped up through the mouth. Its prehensile mustache is capable of taking photos and holding your PBR. It needs to be charged up on a solar panel attached to the back of your bicycle.

If you’d like to borrow one of your own, the King of Park Slope, the Napoleon of Brooklyn probably has one already. He’s one of those guys who can get into the beta test of anything.

The King of Park Slope! The Napoleon of Brooklyn!

This week’s Illustration Friday is “worn” and this week’s Draw Machine is “avant garde outfit” — which dovetail nicely into “an avant garde outfit being worn.”


This week’s environmentally-aware illustration is of the greenest outfit of all time. This Napoleon-inspired outfit features:

  • A hat garden. For vegan food on the go.
  • A bird house. Even if your peers don’t understand you, your bird will.
  • Solar power shoulder pads. To charge the ol’ iPhone.
  • A succulent garden on the chest. Succulents are well-known for being able to thrive anywhere.
  • Ray-Ban aviators at the hip. Because obviously.
  • A bicycle that is made out of recycled chia pet heads. Or whatever.

When I drew this, I was all “LOL/ROTFL LOOK AT THAT HIPSTER” but I now actually want this outfit.

Here’s a detail of His Highness:


I can dig it. Now, if you’ll excuse Napoleon and I, we’re going to the Greenlight Bookstore in Fort Greene and to read some Sedaris or Franzen or something.

Making a spectacle of myself

This week’s Illustration Friday theme is “glasses.”

I was wearing glasses before they were cool, y’all. I was a nerd back when it resulted in social marginalization, not begrudging respect.


Speaking of things I was doing before they became cool, here are the tragic results of my last thrift store adventure:


1: My original outfit — most of which was thrifted.
2: I tried on this officially-issued Progressive Flo shirt, but I didn’t like how it made me look like I had a single giant pink boob.
3: This dress did not leave enough to the imagination. I’ve been working out a lot, but not enough for this look to be awesome-sauce. Also, the shoulder detailing made me look like I was wearing a backpack.
4: This dress had a crotch pleating poof situation.

No purchases were made. If a garment doesn’t make me say “sweet fuck yes, get in my closet!”, I don’t buy it. There’s just not enough space in my townhouse — nay, my life — for ill-fitting puffy-crotch clothes. I waved my white flag and walked away.

Is there anything you’ve been doing that isn’t “cool” lately, Internet? 

This week’s Gab Collab turned into this week’s Illustration Friday!

This week’s Gab Collab blob turned into a girl with very interesting hair properties:


(We all have hair days like this, no?)

Then the shape started to look like a cheese head, which tied into this week’s Illustration Friday theme (“edge”) because…  Packers fans will be the edge of their seats for the NFC divisional playoffs this weekend!


That’s contrived, I know; but I really love this drawing. I’m not even a Packers fan.

Happy football season, Internet!