5 Unpopular Opinions, Illustrated

Like a moldy bridge, the Internet has trolls lurking underneath. Reddit: Unpopular Opinions is a particularly fetid spot for these mouth-breathers. It’s simmering with people ready to spew their most bigoted thoughts in the name of edginess/independence from the norm. 5 examples spotted today (June 14th) include:

“Cultural appropriation is a joke.”

“African Americans are the greatest beneficiaries of slavery.”

“I don’t think grocery stores should provide motorized wheelchairs for disabled customers.”

“Drunk sex is not rape.”

“If you’re a Vet and you’re struggling then you’re not trying.”

Last week (June 7th), here were a few winners… that I decided to go ahead and illustrate:

My favorite: the torture-porn Saw franchise outlines some good parenting strategies. I couldn’t stop laughing at this one.

Strong disagree. Counterargument:

Anyway…

The words “crusty” and “moist” are so obviously worse.

This feels classist? Possibly racist? Definitely shitty — no pun intended.

More like: Fuck that opinion.

Everyone made fun of the Bachelor girl who liked the Olive Garden, but I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t love it.

Monsters. Monsters everywhere.

How I Handle Sketchbook Anxiety: 10 Tips

Sometimes, when I open my sketchbook, I feel a sense of dread. Do I deserve to be wasting this paper on my stupid doodles? Why is everything so ugly? Who is going to want to look at these?

Welcome to the world of Sketchbook Anxiety. It’s that thing where you slap your beautiful notebook — and your brain — shut and watch TV instead of doing the thing you love. Sometimes playing Candy Crush seems like a better alternative than failing at drawing.

Sketchbook Anxiety happens to everyone. Even people who are, like, super-good. I’ve met some. They talk about it, too.

I’ve come up with a list of things to do when Sketchbook Anxiety strikes! Let’s go:

1. If the niceness of your sketchbook is keeping you from using it, get a cheaper one. A cheap sketchbook you will actually use is better than an expensive sketchbook sitting idle. It’s a bunch of paper bound together. You can get another one at the store for under $20.  Sometimes it helps to have another sketchbook waiting in the wings so you can recognize how disposable they are.

2. Get over First Page Terror by writing a phrase there. Worried your first page will have a Bad Drawing? Don’t put a drawing there. I had a friend who wrote “I Invoke The Muse” on his first page. I tend to use that too. I also think “Here Goes Nothing” or perhaps “Strap In And Feel The G’s” might work nicely.

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3. Start a page with a closed-eyes left-handed scribble. Blank pages are daunting. Sometimes when I don’t know what to draw, I scribble for a bit in a lighter color, then “find” something in there. Whatever you draw on top of the scribble is going to be better than the scribble.

4. Ironically, limitations can be freeing. Picking a theme or medium at the beginning eliminates The Paradox of Choice. If you know this is your Ballpoint Pen journal, or your Watercolor journal, or your Collage journal, you won’t freeze up trying to figure out what to use. Or, if you’re using your journal to practice facial expressions, or draw landscapes, you already have a starting point for your next page.

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5. Drawing the same thing over and over again is okay. There might be certain things you like best. It’s okay to have a Thing. Georgia O’Keeffe liked flowers and bones. Frida Kahlo liked self-portraits. Andy Warhol had soup cans; Jasper Johns had bullseyes. Sometimes drawing the same motifs feels right.

6. Stuck? How about a little fanart? We won’t tell anyone what you’ve been watching. Doodle your favorite celebrity or a scene from a TV show. Do your own version of your favorite painting. The picture above left (page 102) references Season 2 of Penny Dreadful. Sometimes you’re expressing a grand, original vision — and sometimes you’re just doodling. You can fret about your magnum opus later.

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7. The drawings can totally crash into each other. Sometimes it works out. Like “Marcella,” above, wearing a mighty fine teacup hat.

8. A sketchbook is a fine place for stray lists and thoughts. The page above left (100) has a note “I went to the bathroom. Be right back!” When I look at that, I remember the nice guy in the coffee shop who agreed to keep an eye on my sketchbook while I was gone. (I live in a small town. It’s okay). The page below left (98) has a list of things I’ve been watching/reading so I’m not caught out when people ask.

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9. You don’t have to show everybody every page. Or any page. This page (below, 106) was a disaster. I was playing with a fountain pen — and ink dripped all over the place. Even before the ink spill, the page featured an anteater dragon and a guy with upside-down cats-eye glasses. This was never going to be a good page. If you want to pick and choose what you’re putting on your Instagram feed, that’s fine. Show yourself in your best light. Or don’t show anything at all. Nobody’s entitled to your sketchbook. 

10a. When you’re done, feel free to save your sketchbooks, light them on fire, or chop them up for future collages. Knowing that I’m going to wind up recycling my work into future collages makes me worry about the sketchbook itself less. I can snip out and reassemble the things that I like best. I can transfer the pages that work into one portfolio. If I want, I can just use my illustrations in a bonfire to heat up s’mores. That lazy attitude toward the sketchbook itself makes me freak out less about what to put down.

10b. However, for your own peace of mind, I do recommend photographing or scanning up the pages you like every once in a while. If you lose or destroy a sketchbook, you’ll always have the thoughts/ideas/shapes/inspiration on hand. It’s also nice to see how far you’ve come.

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A sketchbook is a great place to keep your life experiences, shapes, dreams, grocery lists, and more.

But it won’t work unless you open one up.

Two Old-School Nickelodeon Shows You Can Catch On YouTube

I spent a 3-hour car ride drawing this and filling it in with crayon.

SpaceCases

There’s not much to say about this piece of Space Cases fanart that my back tattoo hasn’t said already.

Did you know that you can watch the entire 26-episode-run of Space Cases on YouTube? I wasn’t even the one that put it there. (It seems like something I’d do, doesn’t it? But someone else made it happen.)

Speaking of Old School Nick, Are You Afraid Of The Dark is also available on YouTube. Which is great, because it disappeared from Amazon Prime. Viacom and Prime had a bit of a falling-out over reality TV, and I guess Dark got sucked into it.

What do these two shows have in common, aside from all those bomb-ass Canadian accents? Jewel Staite. Here she is on Dark. Here she is making the same mistake I constantly do. And here she is using pregnancy as an excuse to do her thang.

Yeah. Pregnant. She’s not ten any more. Why is it so surprising when child actors grow up?

Catalina-GrownUp

I see pictures like this ^ and I’m like “don’t let the Commander see that. You’ll be put in the brig or whatever the hell.”

I guess if I’m allowed to curse and have sex, Catalina can, too. We have all aged.

Next year it’ll be 20 years since Space Cases premiered. Maybe I should get another tattoo. Grown-ups like Jewel Staite and I are allowed to do that.

Celebs, Goths, and the Childfree movement: OH MY!

US Weekly has a feature called “Stars — They’re Just Like Us!” It shows celebrities being profoundly banal.

Like this:

CouldntMakeThisUp

I couldn’t make this up. ^ I’m just not that good a writer.

I wonder who else is misunderstood…

Goths-Just-Like-Us-Big

Back when I wore more black, people were surprised that I liked pop music, avoided drugs, and got straight As. I wasn’t the self-destructive, musically-restricted goth stereotype they’d been imagining. 

Fast forward a few years.

Now I’m “the girl that’s not having kids.”

You know, the “selfish” woman (yes, I’ve been accused of this multiple times). The one who obviously must hate humanity as a whole — but its most sweet, innocent members in particular.

Your-Kids

Look how much hate!

Kids are great. But we Luccis prefer video games, books, drawing, movies, going out to eat, financial stability, sleep, down time, and cursing. Being the “cool family friends who spoil the crap out of the kids” is totally our speed.

Speaking of which, our Little Buddy collection has a new addition.

Meet Baby Evelyn (bottom right)! She looks exactly like her dad, Dr. Math. Which is kind of a pity, because I wanted to make paternity jokes. (Into every life a little rain must fall.) Congrats, Dr. Math & Special K! I look forward to hopefully not breaking your kid.

Drawings and a Fluffy Daisy

This weekend, I was so busy

  • drawing
  • shopping
    and
  • washing my laundry/dog

that I totally neglected to do basic things like:

  • getting groceries
  • replenishing my rum supply
    and
  • calling my parents.

There’s nothing in my house, and I’m a disappointment — but at least things smell good again (there’s a post about that forthcoming, sort of).

Here are a few of my weekend labors:

BusyWeekend-Part1

And also:

BusyWeekend-Part2

And we can’t forget:

MyDogHatesMe

If he were a human child, there would have been some slammed doors and sulky silence yesterday. If he had the choice to skip bathing, he would opt to smell like his own anus forever. (Don’t blame me. I’m just stating the truth.) Now he smells like a fluffy daisy, whatever that means.