Tag: doodle

Calm A Stormy Sea With An Alluring Ship Figurehead

In keeping with the notion of personal growth (ha!), I’ve been working on illustrations of things I don’t know how to draw. (I tried architecture, and it was a disaster.)

Today’s subject is…

Figureheads-Banner

You know, those painted wood creatures that sit on the front of old ships. Usually they’re boobie ladies:

Figureheads-CrownHat

 

Now that the boobs brought in your attention, I’d like to throw some facts up in your business. Then we’ll look at some more drawings.

Figureheads-5Facts

1. Sometimes people built ones that were so big that they fucked up their ships’ ability to function normally. Oops.

2. Old-timey Germans, Belgians, & Dutch people thought that Kaboutermannekes (water fairies) lived inside them.

3. Some people believed that the figurehead expressed symbolically that the ship was a living thing. The eyes on the figurehead served the ship itself.

4. Most sailors were illiterate, and used the symbolic identifiers to locate ships.

5. Many mastheads had exposed breasts because “a naked woman was supposed to be able to calm a storm at sea.”

But sometimes the figureheads were tragically boob-less dudes:

Figureheads-Tricorner

And occasionally they were super-prissy:

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Halloween is a Superior Candy Holiday

We should stop having Valentine’s Day and just celebrate Halloween again instead.

Black-Magic3

Most lady Halloween costumes are lingerie anyway — just like on Valentine’s Day.

You get candy in either situation.

Single people don’t feel excluded. They can get their Stevie Nicks-inspired witch look going on.

If you’re in a couple, you can wear a couples costume.

I’m onto something here, and you know it.