Calm A Stormy Sea With An Alluring Ship Figurehead

In keeping with the notion of personal growth (ha!), I’ve been working on illustrations of things I don’t know how to draw. (I tried architecture, and it was a disaster.)

Today’s subject is…


You know, those painted wood creatures that sit on the front of old ships. Usually they’re boobie ladies:



Now that the boobs brought in your attention, I’d like to throw some facts up in your business. Then we’ll look at some more drawings.


1. Sometimes people built ones that were so big that they fucked up their ships’ ability to function normally. Oops.

2. Old-timey Germans, Belgians, & Dutch people thought that Kaboutermannekes (water fairies) lived inside them.

3. Some people believed that the figurehead expressed symbolically that the ship was a living thing. The eyes on the figurehead served the ship itself.

4. Most sailors were illiterate, and used the symbolic identifiers to locate ships.

5. Many mastheads had exposed breasts because “a naked woman was supposed to be able to calm a storm at sea.”

But sometimes the figureheads were tragically boob-less dudes:


And occasionally they were super-prissy: