Ads That Are Memorable for the Wrong Reason

The annual Lemont Strawberry Festival was halfheartedly promoted with a few hand-drawn signs scattered around town.

The signs were so ugly and forgettable that my husband said he could do better.

I said I could one-up “better” — I could make something very, very memorable.

Lemont-Strawberry

Icky, right?

Creepy and ugly ad campaigns are my favorite. Consider, for example, the tattoo-worthy Burger King:

BK-Horror

This is not a guy you leave alone with your sister.

Death On A Dime: How to Craft A Cheap & Easy Heart or Halloween Garland

Need to decorate for Halloween? This is a cinch.

Heart-Garland

I’m going to chop off some heads this Halloween, so I made a few home decorations to go with my costume. This was so embarrassingly easy (and cute) that I had to detail it here.

To create the heart garland, you’ll need a sturdy heart-shaped punch, a few playing card decks, hot glue, and string.

Punch hearts out of the deck. Affix two dots of hot glue to the bumps at the back of each heart. Press the string into the glue dots. Leave it to cool for a few minutes, then stick it anywhere you’d like.

Want to creep it up a notch? Try doll heads instead of hearts.

The doll heads are a little tougher. I made them by doing Google Image Searches of “creepy doll head,” then saving my favorites to the desktop. I uploaded those images to Wal-Mart Photo and printed them for something like 18 cents each. Then I snipped them out and did the same hot-glue-plus-string rigamarole as before.

The hearts are cute, but the doll heads might make your friends break up with you.

You didn’t need them anyway. The voices can keep you company.

Toys Far Too Expensive For Anyone with Children to Afford

Hello-Dolly-1

I’ve recently discovered the joys of Toys Far Too Expensive For Anyone with Children to Afford. I wandered into the field in the name of research and came out with a very long wish list:

Hello-Dolly-2

I got lost in two types of fancy dolls:

1) Ball-jointed dolls (like these). These are hundreds of dollars each and have very delicate, fully-moveable features. They’re produced in limited runs, and you can paint them, give them wigs, switch out their eyes, and buy outfits for them. They’re like Super Designer Barbies.

2) One-of-a-kind art dolls. Every artist has a different style. Accordingly, they’re all different prices, sizes, materials, subjects, and ranges of motion.

I was thinking it’d be fun to support independent artists and have bizarre art dolls throughout the house in cloches. You know, become “that lady.”

Then I remembered: I several friends with daughters who, as they get older, will definitely jack and break them.

I don’t even have children and I know my stuff’s on the verge of being shattered.

Sigh. I can always dream.

Wanna join me in la-la land? Follow out my Dolls & Plush pin board on Pinterest!

If you thought the movie Child’s Play was creepy, you may not like this post.

Yesterday was a general look at antiques, but today we delve specifically into dolls and figurines.

Antiques-Dolls

Sorry if this gives you the heebie-jeebies.

Onward.

Z-Couples

^ “Look at those boys over there. Think they’ll buy us drinks?”

AA-NotTonight

^ “Not tonight, honey,” he said. “I have a headache.”

AA-PeeWee

^ Remember the PeeWee Herman show? So creepy. I don’t know that managed to be on TV for so long.

Wanna get creepier? How about the destroyed dolls below?

Z-Ohhellno2

OH HELL NO.

Or clowns?

Z-CLOWNS

^ Pet Cemetery called. It wants its hell-hounds back.

Z-Robo9t

^ Would you feel better if you played with a confusing math robot?

AA-War

^ These guys were part of a war display. Gulf War, maybe? I’m not sure.

Speaking of international students…

Z-International

The language these Chinese characters are reading are literally blobs. The people who made those figurines didn’t even try to research what the symbols looked like whatsoever. (Kind of like most people who get Asian symbols tattooed on them.) (Oh snap!)

Also, these Dutch set is precious.

Actual people from Holland are probably thinking, “There’s more to us than clogs and windmills, dammit!” but I’m having none of it.

Are you afraid of dolls? If so, why? Are you concerned they’re going to kill you in your sleep? Because that’s a possibility.