I’ve been having 24 hours of mayhem. To start with, my dog isn’t talking to me.
He’s full of rage because I took him to the dog wash this morning. (I had to; he smelled like butt.)
There’s a chain in there that attaches to your dog’s collar that holds the dog inside the wash. Well, Willie dove over the plastic divider and almost hanged himself.
“You stupid motherfucker!” I screamed. “My baby! Hang in there!”
So I completely soaked my entire outfit dragging the canine back up into the cleaning area. So he didn’t, you know, choke and die.
It was a super-cute outfit, y’all.
Now I’m just wearing jeans and a tank top. Because fuck it.
Do you need boxes? Because the Goodwill has boxes.
I nabbed a great deal of these this morning, but there are still plenty left, if you live in Central PA and are moving.
You know how in movies neighbors introduce themselves with Jell-O molds in hand?
Well, that pretty much happened to me this week.
Except my neighbors showed up with a Tupperware of blueberries. Lemont is full of hippies.
So we made pancakes, but they mostly fell apart because we kept trying to flip them too early. Finesse is a trait we lack.
See that super-handsome man lawn-mowing?
Looks idyllic, right?
Well, the lawnmower broke like three minutes later. We’d owned it about 24 hours.
The lawn now has a naughty-looking Brazilian-style strip down the side.
Hubs took it to Home Depot today, and the damn thing started on the first try. Humiliating!
Has anything gone RIGHT, you may ask?
My media intake.
Movies // Pacific Rim
Awesome. Fun characters, giant monsters, mecha robots, fight scenes, and the Charlie Day/Ron Pearlman subplot! A sci-fi/action movie not to be missed, though, of course, many people did miss it. In favor of Grown-Ups 2. Which is a sign that the world is dying from the inside.
Books // The Romantic Movement
Alain de Botton is mostly a philosopher that bathes nightly in his own thought-juices. Some of his books are straight philosophy; others loosely follow a plot, with philosophical digressions. This is the latter. I feel like he really gets how the mind works.
Music // Halcyon
Goulding’s music appeals to trip-hop fans, dubstep fans, pop fans, and easy listening fans. What could she possibly be doing to appeal to so many groups? Well, she’s making awesome music. Beautiful, emotional, powerful music with electronic backgrounds.
TV // Naked And Afraid
Here’s a thing you should not do at work: Type “Naked And Afraid” into Google Image Search. Because that will give you uncensored lady-parts.
Anyway, this show is about two people (a man and a woman, typically) who are dumped in the nude in an inhospitable situation and forced to fend for themselves. Badly. While squabbling. And starving. And suffering sunburn. This show blurs boobs and genitalia, but not butts. If you — like me — think butts are adorable/funny, this show may be for you.
(anyone else remember the Buttfields from Tiny Toons?)
I’m totally going to leave you on the “butt” note. I started on butts and I will end on butts.