Please don’t ask me to pronounce my new hobby aloud.

Have you ever tried running on train tracks? It seems like a flat, idyllic place to jog; but you inevitably wind up with a fucked up, flappy, bleeding knee.

That’s what saying “amigurumi” out loud is like.

I dread mentioning my hobby to people.

“Will I get lost in that word’s endless hall of mirrors? Am I at the end yet? Has my mouth accomplished it? Can I go back to what I was doing?”


In English, I think of my plush as “slow, soft sculptures.”

Don’t tell anyone that.

That phrase sounds like I live on a Hippie Love Cloud. You can almost smell the patchouli in the air.

Life Advice from Donatello the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

I made Donatello for a friend’s baby (free crochet pattern here). I’ve always known I was giving him away… but I’m still heartbroken to say goodbye.

It’s okay: I know Donatello will be a great pal to young Alex. He has a lot of love and wisdom to give. (He is, after all, the smart Turtle.)

Life Advice From A Ninja Turtle

“Dear Alex,
Welcome to Earth. Here, you’ll discover cute red-headed reporters, sewers, and, best of all, pizza (once you’re done with the breast milk thing). Try to obey your senseis (parents). And remember, your aunt Leah & uncle Rick love you very much.

Save travels through the mail, buddy!

Free Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Amigurumi Pattern!

When I found Amigurumi BB’s voodoo doll pattern, I fell in love.

The proportions for this pattern are inherently weird. It makes a  floppy fella with a huge head, long arms, and stumpy legs.

One might even say the result looks mutated. And that’s perfect for making… a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle for my friend’s baby!


For pattern & instructions, keep reading!

How To Crochet The Ugliest Donkey Imaginable

“I don’t think crochet is your thing,” my mom said on the phone.

“Why?” I whispered, heartbroken.

“I don’t think your donkey was very successful,” she said.

Totoro Crochet

The “donkey” she thought I’d fucked up was, in fact, this Totoro.


If you’d like to make one of your own, the Ravelry pattern is here.


It will be an appreciated Christmas gift.

Or a confusing gift, if the recipient thinks it’s an ugly donkey.

Whovians rejoice!

As you may recall, I taught myself crochet a few weeks ago. The last week and a half has been One Of Those Weeks at work, so I’ve been coming home, pouring myself a rum & diet, and crocheting… this Doctor Who creature!


His full name is Andrew Pose, Andy Pose for short.


He’s an Adipose. They’re blobs of adorable fat that come out of your body. I could go into it, but if you don’t already know, the explanation won’t bring you any joy.


I made him for a Whovian buddy. For my second project, I’m pretty proud of how he came out.


Speaking of geekery, IFC is having a 1960s Batman marathon today (Christmas Eve).


This just happened:

Batman: “Have you seen anything unusual in here lately?”
Librarian: “What do you mean?”
Batman: “Perhaps a man in a green suit with question marks on it?”
Librarian: “Let me think a minute.” (actually takes a moment to consider) “No.”


It’s beautiful.