Cats are like dirty, slinky older men with 70s hair who aspire to be sugar daddies.
We should stop having Valentine’s Day and just celebrate Halloween again instead.
Most lady Halloween costumes are lingerie anyway — just like on Valentine’s Day.
You get candy in either situation.
Single people don’t feel excluded. They can get their Stevie Nicks-inspired witch look going on.
If you’re in a couple, you can wear a couples costume.
I’m onto something here, and you know it.