My husband found these evil robot sketches and laughed at me.

In my post The Robots Have Come To Fisticuffs!, I detailed my overwhelming love of robot fighting. (Yes, making robots fight each other will eventually result in their sentience and hatred of us. But I’m okay with that.)

After seeing my first Robot Battle, I began designing my ideal robot.

Of course, I don’t have the technical know-how to make these happen, and, as you will see, this is probably for the best.

Knight-Bot

The flames come out of the hole in the face mask, as you can see. I’m concerned that the mace top will unbalance this guy, hence the swift-reacting spider legs.

Venus-Flytrap

The joy of this robot is that it eats other robots. It reaches down with its giant head, scoops them up, and dissolves them in its mouth with acid.

EMPT-Bot

Okay, this robot would not be popular with any event organizers because it would shut down the power in the whole building.

Untitled-1

Yeah, I probably shouldn’t make this.

Come back tomorrow for more sketches! 

Optometrists, Masked Ladies, and The Un-Potty-Trained: 50 Faces of March!

This month has heralded a re-dedication to the mighty doodle. I’ve scrawled many people into my little black notebooks — a mix of people I wish I knew and people I’m glad I don’t. Though most of their stories don’t appear on this blog, my characters each have a tale to tell.

Mar-50-02

Faces 1-10:

The top row of people all met at an optometry convention. The one on the far left just wears glasses for style, but doesn’t tell anyone that. She wants to fit in.

The bottom row (cat, baby, dog) have one thing in common: the inability to use the toilet.

Mar-50-03

Faces 11-20:

Thor on a cultural history day at school. He likes being a Viking. No shame in his game. Next to him is Scarecrow, who says that his culture is inspiring terror into others. He may not understand the point of the exercise. Or perhaps he was raised very badly.

The middle row contains Wednesday Addams.

The bottom row is our Great Hair Gallery. I don’t look like any of these girls.

Mar-50-04

 

Faces 21-30:

This set includes Woody Allen, Abe Sapien in first grade, and a really creepy handmade doll.

We also have a guy who is literally a butthead, and Trent Reznor with freckles.

And Kim Jong Il.

And Abe Lincoln (not to be confused with Abe Sapien) with terrible hat-head.

Mar-50-05

Faces 31-40: 

Day of the Dead owls! French vampires! Zombies! Beards!

Mar-50-01

Faces 41-50:

The top row is a group of Very Fashionable Women. They meet up every week in a different mono-syllabic-titled club in SoHo, drink Skinny Girl Margaritas, and gossip. The first two have never seen the third one without her mask.

The second row is Oh Yes, I Remember Being A Teenager. Costumes, tiaras, crazy hair, getting extra ear piercings, trying on funny hats? Been there, done that.

The bottom row is an old-timey boxer. He says things like “Will this come to fisticuffs? I’ll pepper your porridge!” His old-world ways have charmed Lisbeth Salander (middle), but she can’t fully commit to a relationship with him until she’s hunted the third guy down and fixed his unibrow situation.

This month’s 50 Faces was totally satisfying. I can’t wait for April’s faces. Until then, I have some other banging stuff I’m working on that I’ll show you shortly.

Happy Friday, Internet!

It’s time to mangle some children’s activity books.

If you’ve ever been daunted by your sketchbook’s endless blank pages, I have just the thing for you:

Children’s activity books.

This sounds lame, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s only as lame as the inside of your head.

At Cracker Barrel, I picked up What to Doodle? by Rosie Brooks for $1.50 & tax. Pictured below is the cover and the first thing I drew.

Leah Lucci doodle demons bed pattern

Page 5. “Can you draw a lovely pattern on Sophie’s bed cover?” & A convergence of demons on her?

Leah Lucci Velociraptors

Page 6. “What are Jeremy and John riding to school?” Velociraptors to school — fuck yeah! 

Leah Lucci dead parents dimensional portals illustration

Page 9. “What are Neil and Jess having for breakfast?” Their parents. 

Page 15. “Can you draw what Ali has in her cupboard?” A portal to another dimension. 

Leah Lucci dead bride illustration

Page 12. “How many people are in the car? Can you draw them?” 1 squid. 0 people.

Page 13. “What is Ben carrying? Can you draw it?” A bride he doesn’t know is dead. 

Leah Lucci dried fairies illustration

Page 10. “How many candles are on the birthday cake?” Death draws ever nearer.

Page 11. “What type of candy is in the candy jar?” Dried fairies. 

Et cetera. Release your inner Tim Burton. It’s really, really fun.

Happy Monday!

Wanna see the inside of my sketchbook?

My sketchbook slices, dices, slow-cooks, and does low-level mathematics!

If you act now, you’ll receive three ShamWows or get to see some sketches! Our discretion!

Thanks for joining me. You’re getting the sketches.

Here’s the Queen of Hearts in her bowling/golf uniform:

SB-Hearts

The Queen of Hearts is my Patronus. She’s stylish and bitchy! Hel-loObviously I love her.

SB-Age-Demon

Speaking of evil stuff, here’s the demon that encourages women to lie about their age. She has a wonderful prehensile tongue.

 

SB-bunnies

I spotted these on a girl downtown.

Here’s a photo of something similar:

Asian guy in bunny earmuffs.

(That guy is secure in his masculinity.)

Speaking of manliness:

SB-UncleCreepy

You might be like “does that little note at the bottom say ‘punching himself in the dick‘?”

Yes. It does.

Before MMA events, fighters have to indicate to the refs that they’re wearing a cup, and they do so by making a fist and slamming themselves violently in the junk.

I love Uncle Creepy:

Uncle-Creepy

He is one of my favorite fighters. For more about him, you can click here (unclecreepymma.com) or here.

SB-HipsterBF

It’s hard to find Converse in Bigfoot’s size.

SB-OdinsMemoirs

Odin’s fucking had it with Thor and Loki’s battles intruding upon his quiet time in “Dad’s man-cave.”

SB-Turban-Lady

 

My Sunday afternoon took on a gleeful turn when a woman in a full-on, no-holds-barred turban entered the diner.

Her turban was big and blue, and featured a dangly forehead-bead and a spray of feathers.

It was like this vintage 1960s Vogue cover:

Vintage 1960s Vogue cover

I hoped she would demand the staff turn off all the lights so we could enter the spirit world. Alas, no such thing happened.

Sadly, due to her age and apparent health situation (she had pale skin and looked tired), she might have been wearing the turban to cover possible illness-related hair loss. Which made her hat choice a “reclaiming the skull for herself” type of thing and even more commendable.

I wish I could pull off hats, but I simply do not have the panache required to do so.

I’ll have to add “garner more panache” to my list of things to do in 2014.

Hotel Roanoke

Roanoke, Virginia has an awesome spirit. Lots of vintage stuff, local eats, and arty shops.

Last week, my family and I had lunch at Wildflour Café, an indie local-food joint.

Then we walked around downtown, which had some of this stuff going on:

Yes, we totally got to ride on this. It was free.

Mom & Jacob love each other!

Then we swung by the Hotel Roanoke to take some arty black and white photos. (Okay, that was my goal.)

This place is open for weddings, if you wanna be fancy.

My brother lost patience with my photography & curled up in the lobby with his Nook.

With the exception of the broken, creepy choir children out back, this is a ritzy hotel.

With beagles. Wonderful beagles.