I spotted this pretty patterned picture a few days ago and knew I had to get in on that bright, happy flower power.
I got so zesty about this that I created a custom pattern:
It was a brain-fiesta, and I’m pleased as punch.
If you want to make your own pattern, I recommend this tutorial. It explains the process much more succinctly than I ever could.
I’d wander off on some rumination about serifs, the odd adaptability of the dog genome, or how Guy Fieri got into all of these old paintings.
Be grateful that other people exist.
Duck and cover, because I’m about to drop a truth bomb.
“Spider Derby,” or spider fighting, is a “sport” that actually exists.
Depending on the spider species, two males or two females fight until:
- one dies,
- one falls off the leaf or stick they’re battling on,
- or an obviously failing one is rescued by its handler.
When “off duty,” the spiders are kept in matchboxes.
Maybe you’re saying “that’s barbaric.”
It’s banned in some areas, but not because it’s mean. It’s because “[children] could spend so much time hunting and training spiders that lessons and homework are missed.” Oh, and because the practice encourages gambling. (In derbies, bets go up to $1k.)
Maybe you’re saying “this has to be happening internationally.”
Yes, it does. Mostly in Singapore, Japan, and the Philippines.
And also… jails in Florida.
“In 2002, a fight between three inmates over the theft of a pet spider resulted in life-threatening skull injuries to one inmate.”
Sounds like Florida to me. (To see Florida Man’s most impressive accomplishments of 2014, click here.)
As usual, I suggest you try nothing you see on this blog at home.
Have fun sleeping tonight.
Tomorrow night is probably my last improv show.
I’m sad about this. My group’s like a second family to me. They’re mostly grad students and faculty, and are applying for jobs outside of Central PA; soon, we won’t have enough members to continue.
So, if you’re nearby, you should come to the show and wish us the best!
I drew a bunch of evil entities playing roller derby, then decided to call it “Unholy Rollers,” because, well, obviously.
Turns out there’s already a movie with that name. But its characters weren’t demon spawn, so I’m going to take partial credit for taking this idea to its natural conclusion.