5 (Non-Spoiler) Thoughts I Had While Watching Split

I don’t want to post any spoilers, but I am happy to announce that M Night Shyamalan has finally released a film that isn’t crap.

Which is awesome, because I feel like Shyamalan has so many great ideas… that never quite pan out in real-movie plot situations. I want Shymalan to succeed. He just… usually doesn’t for me.

Split stars James McAvoy (Professor X in the X-Men prequels) as a man with multiple personalities who kidnaps three teenage girls. Can they escape?

As I was watching this movie, I had the following 5 (non-spoiler) thoughts:

1. Apparently there’s nothing that can keep me from crushing on James McAvoy.

His character’s personalities include a pederast with OCD, a 9-year-old-boy, a gay fashion designer, and a very prim woman (above).

As each horror the character committed unfolded — and he’s definitely the antagonist — I thought “is this the final straw?”

It was never the final straw. The final straw may not exist.

2. Is Split Personality Disorder (Dissociative Identity Disorder) really a thing?

I couldn’t remember. Turns out no one’s 100% sure, and it’s, for the most part, not taken very seriously. This article does a nice job of talking about it. [Above graphic by Diana Dihaze.]

3. Teenage girls are the worst.

The protagonist (foreground) spends time locked in a room with two girls from her class (background). Their stupidity is profoundly well-written. They have this chipper “we can fix it!” gung-ho attitude toward their abduction that feels like an Oprah episode. Don’t worry: the main character tells them to stuff a sock in it.

4. Was The Happening really a thing?

It’s a movie about plants emitting a deadly toxin — then abruptly stopping for no reason.

How could the same writer/director make such varying films?

5. What’s the consensus on Shyamalan now? Am I going to get judged for liking this movie?

Split was interesting, surprising, and oddly funny. Definitely my favorite of his movies since 6th Sense — which was almost 2 decades ago.

Is he setting me up for more disappointment, or has he gotten his groove back?

Did any of you see the movie, Internet?

5 Links About Creepy Stuff, Fonts, & Siri’s Terrible Personality

^ A little girl raised in a concentration camp was asked to illustrate “home.” I found this in a collection of photos with the click-bait-y title “21 Photo Backstories Scarier Than Any Movie.” Despite the eyeroll-inducing title of that article, a lot of the photos really are creepy/sad.

Oneword.com is a site that gives you one word and one minute to write about it. A great idea for freewriting exercises if you have creative block.

^ 26 Photoshop Actions. I haven’t played with these yet, but they look promising. (Here are some more graphic design freebies, while we’re at it.) Speaking of design — love infographics? Infogrades is a site that curates the best. Go learn something!

50 Different Ways to Lace Shoes is definitive proof that no matter how banal something is, someone is profoundly interested. It takes all kinds to make a world.

^ And, finally, here’s Siri being a bitch, as usual.

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5 Witchy-Woman Sketchbook Spreads

Witches: true demonic evil, or just “nasty women”?

In celebration of the Women’s March, I present a variety of witches.

My favorite drawing here isn’t the gauged-ear witch (whoops, ears uneven), but the wonderful updo on the lass on the right. It’s very Something About Mary.

The mink shawl is thrilled to be there. The other girl was promised ice cream at this party, and isn’t sure if it’s awkward to leave. Is the ice cream coming later?

This page is a lot of things happening all at once. Mostly a bunch of eyes where they don’t belong, à la Guillermo del Toro.

Technically? No witches here. Just badass bitches.

I suspect the woman on the left is a vampire. The rabbits, however? Casting spells. Mostly fertility ones.

Thumbs-up to everyone who marched this weekend!

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Goth up your tea game!

The area between “sort of edgy” and “likes old-fashioned things” is usually the realm of hipsters.

But what if “hipster” doesn’t feel right? You don’t have enough of a beard, or you don’t love beer, or you just want to wear black all the time?

Have you considered becoming a tea goth?

Whether you love coffee, tea, or gothy things, here are five Etsy (buy handmade!) finds for you:

1. This skull mug ($42). Skulls are in everybody’s head. But for some reason not everyone celebrates them. This is a body-positivity fail. Enjoy your body, and its underpinnings, while you wake up.

2. This spiky mug with a purple interior ($35). The spikes say “I’m tough!” but the fact that you’re a Goth in the first place says “I have a lot of tender feelings in here.”

3. A teaspoon that says “poison” ($11.42). How funny would it be if you actually poisoned someone with this? (I mean, don’t. This is a hypothetical thought exercise.)

4. A skull mug enamel pin ($7). In case you can’t afford the real skull mug, or want to add to the bounty of pins on your black denim jacket.

5. Nightmare Before Christmas teapot ($125). I want this despite my beef with Tim Burton, and the fact that I prefer a gravity steeper. It’d look so good in my house.

Any other suggestions for this list?

5 Movies I’m Looking Forward To This Year, Chronologically

I almost never miss $5 Movie Night.

Because this special runs at my theater every Tuesday, I watch a lot of filler movies. Action flicks like Tarzan and Underworld: Blood Wars. Horror flicks like Don’t Breathe and Lights Out. And basically every cartoon about animals.

In between total rubbish, I enjoy plenty of good films. Here’s what’s on my docket for Tuesdays in 2017.

^ Lego Batman movie (February 10th). When you think about it, what Bruce Wayne really needs is some therapy. If he can’t have that, we’ll just have to settle for giggling at him in Lego form.

^ A Cure for Wellness (February 17th). Is there an evil secret lurking in this fancy spa? Probably, otherwise they wouldn’t make a movie about it. Oooh, I hope the secret is something really heinous.

^ The Circle (April 28th). Imagine if Google and Facebook merged into one super-company with a fondness for complete surveillance of everyone, all the time. Emma Watson is playing the protagonist, if that helps stoke your enthusiasm. Read the book or hit up the trailer.

Read More 5 Movies I’m Looking Forward To This Year, Chronologically