This year, I discovered that the Hunger Games is definitely not the cultural phenomenon I’d believed. My uber-fun slam-dunk of a costume… required repeated explanation to blank faces.
My outfit was too obscure. It required prior knowledge of a science fiction young adult book/movie series about a dystopian society.
I should have gone simpler. Judging what I’ve been seeing downtown, here are some other, clearer lady costumes I should have chosen instead:
- Sexy nerd.
- Sexy pirate.
- Sexy vampire.
- Sexy Oompa-Loompa. (Yes, I really saw this downtown.)
- Sexy Penn State football fan. (Maybe those weren’t costumes.)
- Sexy Mrs. Claus.
- Sexy Oktoberfest wench.
- Sexy Wanda (female version of Where’s Waldo).
- Sexy CIA agent.
- Sexy cat.
- Sexy bunny.
- Sexy bumblebee.
- Sexy Disney princess.
- Sexy flapper.
- Sexy “Indian.”
If I were a sexy “Indian,” the only ambiguity of my costume would be how much of a racist I was for wearing it. (Obviously, very. But… 90% racist or just 75% racist?)
Next year, I plan to be Alice in Wonderland’s Queen of Hearts. People will get it, especially if I show off my ta-tas a bit.