Born In The USA: It’s Election Day!

As you can see, I didn’t pull a lot of stops in my outfit. The key focus is the puppy shirt; but I also have a red-and-white-striped skirt, a button-down patterned shirt, leggings, boots, and the hottest accessory of all: the “I Voted” sticker.

But there was another outfit more extreme than mine… this lady’s.

She had a Fallopian tube hat and a uterus cape. 

I walked up to her and said, “I see you’re voting for Mittens,” and she laughed.

We had plenty of time to bond, because the line was long:

It only took about 40 minutes this year.

The McCain/Obama election 4 years ago took about an hour and a half.

And it was cold.

And I had to stand next to a white supremacist who was holding a sign that said “Keep The White House White!” He was also sporting a Confederate flag hat and a Nazi armband. The armband was giving me palpitations and I was concerned he was going to look at my facial structure and shoot me. (Honestly. No exaggeration. I’m a very paranoid person. I live in low-level terror the majority of the time.)

Luckily, Captain Whitey was not voting at the same time as me this year. I could vote for the black guy in peace.

I’ve been walking around work and going about my business in this outfit. People keep staring at my chest, and I keep forgetting why. 

People also had weird reactions to this outfit (on Halloween):

It’s like they don’t see people in all black wielding wands every day or something.

What a boring life they must lead.

Anyway, regardless of what you’re wearing, remember to vote today! 

Geeky upper back tattoos, unite!

The upper back tattoo has become as popular as the tramp stamp once was, except this location seems to be mostly for geeks to express themselves.

Take, for example, this pitch-perfect tattoo, which I spotted & snapped in Boalsburg, PA:

It’s a diagram of the golden section with a synonym for beauty on it. You have to be a visual nerd and a linguistic nerd for this all to come together.

Or take a bite of this tat that lives on my friend Ashley, a baker:

Or this one, the logo for a 1990s sci-fi show:


(it’s me!)

After poking around online, I found plenty of other geeky back tattoo inspiration. Behold my fave picks:

That’s right, kids: a Haunted Mansion tattoo. Also known as: the best thing ever. It was spotted at Comic-Con in 2007.

For the weenies who were always too scared to go in Disney’s Haunted Mansion, you’re missing out on, well, everything. There are ghosts, ghouls, zombies, and spiders. There are holograms and “hitchhiking ghosts who follow you home.”

In the beginning of the ride, there are very long portraits that expand. This is one of those. At first, you only see the top (cute girl, umbrella), then the poster expands downward, showing how the person died.

Here’s the set of four:

So epic.

Or how about a tattoo by Neil Gaiman?

Or, finally, this extremely extensive Where the Wild Things Are tattoo on Mishelle Lane:

Of course, you could get a “tribal tattoo” or a butterfly, but why would you, when there’s a universe of beautiful, creative opportunities? Go geek or go home!

True story: I was in a Thriller flash mob last weekend!

The dance crew on campus proposed having a flash mob inside the store where I work. The bosses tentatively okayed it. We wanted the mob to have some staff in it, so about 10 of us joined the crew.

The practices were long. One of the moves (the one where we all drop down and pop back up) pretty much destroyed my upper thighs. I had dry mouth and shaky hands the hour beforehand.

And it was awesome.

Thriller Flash Mob

My boss was almost in tears. He said it was the coolest thing he’s ever seen inside the store. (Which is inevitable because it’s not like a lot of cool things typically happen inside of a Penn State clothing store.)

If you care to look for me in the YouTube video, I’m the blonde about 3/4 of the way back along the register area. In the fisheye-lens camera on the register, I’m occasionally toward the left. During the breakdown scene where we’re all in the circle around the two fast-dancing crew members, it’s my massive curly blonde head that’s pretty much in front of the camera.

(If I had known the camera was there, I would have moved. I’m like that annoying guy in a stovepipe hat who sits in front of you in a theater.)

(Not that people wear stovepipe hats any more, so I don’t know if this example has held true for the last few hundred years. You get the idea.)

Pre-pubescent Raphael at a playground, attempting to make friends

Considering my childhood relationship with my brother and extrapolating out times three, I imagine that young Raphael wanted to get out of the house (sewer) now and again, and bond with other kids. Kids who would be like “wow, dude, sweet turtle-shell backpack” and “are you all right? your skin’s, like, greenish?”

It was in this childhood playground that Raphael learned that his ability to kick ass was not universal to all children. He decided to limit his ninja skills to siblings, Foot soldiers, and criminals.