Category: Antics

Which of these 5 emotions is worth the most on Etsy?

Here’s a fun game: type a random word into Etsy, and sort by highest price. It’s a game that incorporates art, artists’ egos, supply-demand, and the madness of Etsy into a glee-spree.

Today, I typed in 5 emotion-words: fear, hate, disgust, love, and bromance.

Which emotion is worth the most on Etsy? Read on to find out.

^ Bromance is apparently the least important emotion in terms of the human wallet. Batmance, an original ink & acrylic painting by Lindsay Strubbe, is an even $1,000.

You can also get this as a tote bag for $38, which a part of me is very tempted to do.

^ Disgust: Boy/Girl Dichotomizer by ChaosmosDichotomizer. This $2,000 piece encourages you to “Enjoy reproducing the white heteromasculinity of a world populated by violent and oppressive gender binaries!”

… Did Etsy just out-Etsy itself?

^ Hate: When The World Is Hate by D*Face, who has a really cool portfolio. “Pristine” condition acrylic on canvas, $10,000.

^ Fear: Illumination Beyond Ursa Major by Dave Martsolf, whose website appears to be from 1997. Original painting, $40,320. You can (and should!) click through to see a close-up of the child’s inscrutable face.

^ Love: The Spirit of Magic Mushrooms by RaixeAirisCREATORS, is $266,341.73.

This piece, crafted from “glowing pens, glowing markers, pencils,” is 5.25″ by 5.5″.

The artist also has a $140,921.41 painting of a “mushroom of love.” (It’s a dong.)

This experiment, though tiny, is more proof that love conquers all.

Go about your day uplifted, Internet!

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5 Dreadful Decorating Choices In This Cabin

My New Years experience was lovely: friends, board games, alcohol, taking turns making delicious home-cooked meals.

The only (slight) party-dampener was how fugly our cabin was. To say nothing of the musty smell or the plethora of itchy bug-bites I now possess.

Let’s investigate the worst design choices.

1. Sticks on the wall

“The cabin is in the outdoors, so I guess ‘outdoors’ will be my motif. I’m not one of those sheeple who spends money at big box stores. I’m going to ‘shop my backyard.'”

It’s possible for this to work!

… Or one can opt to simply hammer branches and twigs to the walls. In every room of one’s home.

2. A sad magnet situation

There were two magnets: one that said to clean up, and one that was an image of a television.

The television is unfathomable to me. If there are only two magnets, and the TV is one of them, it must mean something right? But what?

Read More 5 Dreadful Decorating Choices In This Cabin

My Application to The Avengers Initiative and/or League of Justice, Whichever

Batman vs Superman blew chunks.

It’s time we all admitted that Superman needs to go — and I should replace him.

Behold my lovingly illustrated application.

Backstory

The hottest fires forge the strongest steel.

Intelligence

This spatial memory also assists with directions. Sometimes.

Strength

I am very dedicated to self-improvement. (That’s Falcon up there.)

Struggle

I can be undone by pollen, dust, cats, hay, cold, and exercise. This makes my character well-rounded. Nobody loves a Mary Sue.

Charisma

I may not always be riveting, but some of my competition is weak sauce.

Finale

In the end, the Avengers and the League of Justice admitted me to their ranks.

What does your superhero self bring to the table?

The Holocaust Museum Sure Sounds Like Fun

Last week while I was in Washington DC, Yelp made a few suggestions for “something fun!”:

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The Holocaust Memorial Museum was such a blast that I’m going to have my next birthday party there!

Restaurants

To get both sides of the story, I also had a meal at Cafe Berlin (illustrated in the center).

The schweine medallions were banging; however, they simply couldn’t throw down like the Holocaust Museum.

But seriously, Yelp: please tweak your algorithm.

Put the Holocaust Museum under “educational” or something.

I almost drove off the road because I realized the government was watching me.

I noticed a tiny microphone on my car dash this morning. I’d never seen it before.

WHATISTHIS

What in the sweet fuck was this? 

I’m not going to lie, Internet: I was pretty sure it was a bug that Big Brother inserted to spy on me.

I tried to yank it out for a minute, then, when I couldn’t, vowed to snip it later in the day.

Or maybe to Google it.

Turns out that the mike is, most likely, a Bluetooth mike that ties in with the new sound system I installed a month or two ago.

The government is not listening to me singing along to the Spice Girls.

What a relief.

Mostly for them.