I haven’t killed anybody!

Up until two weeks ago, I ate mostly peanut butter sandwiches, Doritos, Reeces cups, and Diet Coke. My DNA strands were comprised of sugar and caffeine, held tenuously together by delicate strands of aspartame.

Woefully, the time has come to stop treating my body like a trash can. So I’ve cut back on sugar and processed foods.

Considering this total about-face, I’ve been surprisingly un-murderous.

I daresay saintly.

Saint-Leah

As of this posting, I have received neither medal nor monument.

My new diet looks like this:

Kebabs

When this thing inevitably flies off the rails, I am going to get ridiculous on something chocolate and melty.

What’s your guilty pleasure food? I need performers for my Circus of Terrible Ideas.