I almost drove off the road because I realized the government was watching me.

I noticed a tiny microphone on my car dash this morning. I’d never seen it before.

WHATISTHIS

What in the sweet fuck was this? 

I’m not going to lie, Internet: I was pretty sure it was a bug that Big Brother inserted to spy on me.

I tried to yank it out for a minute, then, when I couldn’t, vowed to snip it later in the day.

Or maybe to Google it.

Turns out that the mike is, most likely, a Bluetooth mike that ties in with the new sound system I installed a month or two ago.

The government is not listening to me singing along to the Spice Girls.

What a relief.

Mostly for them.