This blog is about butts, aliens, vampires, David Bowie, pokémon, and zombie dictators.

What search terms are leading people to this blog — and are those people disappointed?

Let’s take a gander!

“Rural Big Booty”
I can deliver on this promise. I live in a cornfield and I have an ass for days.

“Crazy Hair On Ancient Aliens”
I can help you with that. If you look at my Ancient Aliens tag, you’ll discover his name is Giorgio Tsoukalos. His hair levitates because it’s being beamed up to the Mothership.

“How To Look Rich”
Nope. I’m essentially Oscar the Grouch. (You, know, like, scruffy and living in a trash can.)

“Overpopulation Drawings”
Oddly… I have illustrated this! I was ranting about Stephen King’s blasé attitude toward vampire overpopulation.

“David Bowie Themed Party”
Wow. I’ve never posted about this — but thank you for the suggestion.

“ghost spam is free from the politics, we dancing like a paralytics
I have nothing for you. It’s time to seek a professional.

“Pikachu vs Jigglypuff”
Easy. Jigglypuff. Next.


“Zombie Hitler”

If you have been watching Hunting Hitler, you’d know that he’s not a zombie. Because he’s not dead.

Well, maybe he’s dead.

But he died, maybe, in Argentina, instead of Germany. Listen, it’s a whole thing. His death/bodily remains situation isn’t as clear as you’d think.

Anyway, if you spot Zombie Hitler, you need to go for the headshot.

Unless he did actually shoot himself in the head in the bunker, in which case, he’s already handled it for you. Easy-peasy.

Thank you for consulting with me on this important matter.