10 Halloween Party Lies, Photos, and Tales

I took all these photos, but some aren’t of my Halloween party.

I had all of these experiences, but some were only in my head.

1. A rabbit-masked man slashed the head off a pinata with a samurai sword. It was a practice sword, made of wood. Pieces of candy spewed from its neck like its jugular had been hacked.


2. One of the children disappeared. We found her in the crawlspace with the Christmas decorations. She and a plush Rudolph were reading a cookbook by flashlight.

3. A boy dressed as a bumblebee found a tick on his ankle. A boy dressed as a cracked porcelain doll found a succubus attached to him. Unlike the bumblebee, he didn’t put up a fuss.


4. A child with night vision played frisbee in the ink-black backyard. His twin, who didn’t have night vision, was a poor partner for this.

5. A man spent a few hours at the party in a ski mask. After he left, we realized he wasn’t one of us.


6. Someone at the party wore a tee that said “Life.” He spent the evening handing out lemons. I used one of the lemons in a recipe this morning.

7. A mask’s spirit possessed its wearer’s body all evening. The ghost and party-goer had similar personalities, so nobody noticed.


8. Our Ouija board caught on fire. The demon we were summoning was angry that we weren’t taking the seance seriously. We’re on the lookout for another board now.

9. Five people brought cheese plates. The girl who dressed as Minnie Mouse was overwhelmed by joy.


10. The dog was cooperative and quiet all evening. Just kidding. This one’s obviously a lie.