I bled everywhere and passed out at Crossfit!*

* (I wrote the title of this post before I went, fearing the worst. I refuse to change it. Attention-grabby, no?)

Yesterday was Free Crossfit Thursday at the local box. After much encouragement from Jiggy, I collected my darling powerhouse derby girl, Drea, to join me. We looked death in the face, and we laughed.

(image source)

The warmup was harder than my usual complete workout — and then we actually got started. The meat of the workout involved weighted squats, a relentless rowing machine, crunches, and step-ups onto Satan’s own enormous wooden boxes.

At every turn, I thought, “what fresh hell is this?”

But I made it, with exaggerated grunting (I wanted to fit in) and zero wheezing (thank goodness).


I dare say I actually enjoyed the experience.

While it was happening, I was screaming obscenities and flailing weights around — which is a little fun. (At normal gyms, this is forbidden. At Crossfit, this is allowed. Even encouraged.) At the very end, while I was struggling, a guy stood next to me and told me I could do it, which was nice. The coaches were awesome humans. Drea and I gave each other a giant high-five when it ended — our camaraderie had leveled up.

When I left, I was at peace. I’d found the bottom. There was absolutely nothing that could be worse than what had just happened to me. Dog chronically pulling on the leash? Whatever. Husband preoccupied with new video game? Okay. Book I want checked out of the library? That’ll happen.

I have problems, but I don’t have any real problems. Exercise is solid. I can slam my muscles and drip my sweat onto it. Over a four mile run, buildings go by and smells permeate different areas and sun gradually tints my skin.

When I come home, I’m grimy and exhausted. I smell awful.

And nothing matters.

Crossfit is just one tool of many to attain that state. I can’t imagine doing it all the time, but maybe cross-training with it every few weeks. There’s a pay-by-session option at the box which I may consider. I don’t know yet, but I like it as an option.

If you’ve tried a new exercise style lately, Internet, feel free to tell me about it!