Fangs of Fury

I am always on high alert for bears.

“But Leah — you’ve never been attacked by bears!” you might say. 

Right. I know. It’s because I’m constantly vigilant

Bathroom? Check behind that curtain for bears.

Bedtime? Check under the bed for bears.

Grocery shopping? Make sure they’re not in the candy aisle.

Work? You never know when a customer might actually be a bear in a human costume.

Threat-Down

People think Stephen Colbert’s all-out campaign against bears is a joke. It is not. He knows a menace to humanity when he sees one.

I have lovingly crafted this treasury on Etsy not as a tribute to bears, but as a reminder of what the enemy looks like. 

Godspeed, friends.